on aeish's blogust-8

sorry the links don't work right now, making wikilinks work on 11ty is hard. I will do it soon, enjoy the new css lol

The robot x mechanic (toxic yuri) story

There's this theory of conciousness where the your sentience is stored in the complexity of your arrangement. By this theory human brain is concious because it is entirely too complex connections of neurons that can be reprogrammed as they fire. The memory is stored in how those connections are made. But these connections do not have to be made of neurons or even be biological.

Looking for what i enjoy while travelling (Blogust-7)

I don't feel like travelling in cities, I do not enjoy the temples. The only thing that has moved me recently is the 2 am view i got of a road surrounded by feilds leading up to a mountain.

People I can talk to

I am realizing my favorite thing to do is talk to new and interesting people. I love knowing what they do in life, and what they think about so many things. I love knowing thoughts and spending time with them for no reason. That is why I love tokyo so much more than paris. Paris is about meeting your friends, at least the english speaking things are about that.

Perseids and The eclipse (Blogust-6)

I am writing this while sitting on a road surrounded by fields for kilometers. The road has mountain in clouds on one side, forest on the other.

Picking apart what games I like and how to find direction in life (Blogust-5)

So many things come without a story, I'm talking about video games. To begin with : Minecraft. One of the objectively most famous video games, has no story you explore, mine do random things have your own goal build up and down whatever. People love it. I didn't I played vanilla for 20 minutes before installing a [[kitchensink]] mod, based on [[create]].

Being dismantled as a robot with no feelings (Blogust-4)

I am covered in rashes that i was too bold to go to in the sun. I know the sun hates me and will make my skin kill itself. Theres a few trans girls on tumblr that talk about being a robot. I often wonder that too. [[ghost in a shell]] the orignal anime film has done irreparable damage to my psyche. Also there was a toxic yuri game jam that i ideated for but couldn't do anything for.

Decay is girlhood (Blogust-3)

This post is about how to make html websites while sitting in my rotting room of fungal floors, drenched walls, and molded food. There's no place you can step without finding something. How do I define a physical space in the world where everything is just linked to each other? Do my books go in a drawer or a another file that I just get a reference to? How do I store my references, I have 30 files scattered across my room, some are buried under piles of clothes on the floor and others are only accessible through a Google drive folder. Where is my rent invoice I think the due date was last week. I'm sorry writing html is hard and I keep seeing the castle of gin tonic cans that I never drank. It reminds me of structuring flex divs.

I have a fix it complex (Blogust-2)

I see a movement or an issue and I want to help. I want to fix it. I see issue with shortage of gaming blogs and I want to start one. I see problems with facism stopping communication and I want to build solutions. I see protests in my country about exams and accountability and I want to give my thoughts on what might be good. I do not think that having my motivation based on what doesn't exist and what needs helping is good for me. I want to help cannot be my personality. I cannot get I to electronics because people aren't doing things made by hand anymore ( I never did those so what is "anymore"). I cannot work on federated pets just because people don't have social interactions through social media, have forgotten virtual pets and cannot be personal anymore (I was never exposed to any of these things). I cannot make live coded music because.... Actually no this is something I have fun with nvm. My point is nostalgia of a time doesn't exist is an awkward source of motivation. Retro futurism from electronics from 2000s is an entire aesthetic based around that. Futurism is the aesthetic that talks about what the future could be like, and makes it into a visual style. What are my hobbies if not an attempt to make a future I missed already.

Midlife Burger (Blogust-1)

I have so many thoughts about this podcast I'm listening to: [[Midnight burger]]. So in chapter 38: Welcome to the triad. It is like a sidestory episode from the perspective of BertBert and Verge (two lovers? of the space engineer from earth Lief). Its about this rebellion sisters who are tired of the life in triad and how it leeches resources and puts entire planets into debt for using their warp gateways. Like the major idea is exploitation to provide necessities that weren't necessary. There's also the interleaving with Verge's story of forever running away never living and Lief's story too, of leaving earth wanting soemthing changing all the time being so afraid of stagnation. I relate to all of these.